Classy&Sassy's Top Five Neighborhood Restaurants

...and Bottom Five Neighborhood Dives

Now it's my turn! Here are my Top 5 Neighborhood Pics (in no particular order) and Bottom 5 Neighborhood Pans. I determined my “neighborhood” to be Oak Lawn, Uptown and Knox St., and I used the same criteria set forth by FP: these are casual, drop-in spots – not fine dining. Enjoy!

p.s. I know I'm going to poke a few eyeballs with my pans, but feel free to leave me a comment and let me know how wrong I am!

C&S's Top 5 Neighborhood Favorites

Tio's Tortas (4015 Lemmon Avenue) These monsters are big on taste and, well, big-ness. Everyone I've introduced to Tio's has promptly developed their own jones. $5 to anyone who tries Nardo's Nightmare and gives their own review in 'Comments'. www.tiostortas.com

Mia's (4322 Lemmon Avenue) Mia's is straight-forward excellent Tex-Mex. No frills, no faux-kitch on the walls, no Facebook-aged waiters sporting pieces of flare. It's a family operation and I'd guess they use family recipes – they sure do taste like it. www.miastexmex.com

La Duni (Two Locations, both in my neighborhood: 4264 Oak Lawn Ave & 4620 McKinney Ave) Up until a few months ago, I would say, “I've heard that place is really good...” when La Duni would come up in conversation. Then, I ate there. I'm now a convert; the greatness of La Duni inspires evangelical devotion to spreading the word about their incredible Latin cuisine and pastries that will cause you to swear off that stale Starbucks case for good. The reward for a lifetime of preaching this gospel? When I die, I'll be baked into a Quatro Leches from La Duni. www.laduni.com

Green Papaya Vietnamese Bistro (3211 Oak Lawn Avenue, suite B) Great vietnamese food. The spring rolls and pho are some of the best I've ever tasted. FP loves the Canh Chu (Vietnamese Hot and Sour Soup). There is little atmosphere to speak of, but I did see Don Henley picking up some take-out on a Sunday night. www.greenpapayarestaurants.com

Toy's Cafe (4422 Lemmon Avenue) All right, it's a dive and it sits in a questionable shopping center alongside a couple of shady businesses (see photo left; no, I can't vouch for "Donuts" or "Jessica Hair Salon"). Don't go there with someone you want to impress. Do go there if you want to sample their amazing corn cakes.

*Didn't add to list 'cause you should darn well

already know about them: Buli, Breadwinner's & Eatzi's

Sassy's Bottom 5 – Totally Overrated!

Primo's: What the ef is up with this glorified OTB? You wouldn't go there for the food, and you wouldn't go for the great service. You certainly wouldn't go if you actually wanted to sit on the patio. So why go at all? I have no clue...maybe you just picked up a new ironic screen-printed “vintage” t-shirt at Urban Outfitters and you just can't wait to show it off?

Hook, Line and Sinker: Used to be good, not so good anymore. What changed? I'm not sure, but it doesn't seem to be changing back anytime soon.

The Bronx: People love The Bronx, and I've had some nice meals here. More often than not, however, the food is lukewarm and bears little resemblance to menu descriptions. Dining rooms are often empty and eerily silent as well. The only redeeming quality is that the service is always excellent.

Cafe Brazil, Cedar Springs location: I'm disappointed in this outpost of Dallas' favorite indie coffee shop every time I decide to give it another try. Tables are cramped, food isn't good, coffee is weak (and I mean see-through!), and there are strange odors in several corners of the restaurant.

Chuy's: Once again, this is a favorite of many and I expect flack for panning it (feel free to comment), but I have to be honest. Not only has service been sub-par and “cold” wine and beer served lukewarm on my past few visits, but there were also some stomach-turning food faux-pas on display. Sticky, foamy white film floating atop bowl of salsa, anyone?

Restaurant Review: The Porch

...or Why These Girls Love Big (Bowls of) Mussels

The Porch

2912 N. Henderson Avenue, Dallas

Who was there?

After work one night and at lunch the next day, the crowd at The Porch was primped, perky and positively precious. Come to think of it, so were the wait staff. Fresh highlights and a well-accessorized ensemble are a must. Don't go in sweats, but a cute pair of jeans will do just fine...Read on, though: the food is worth some extra time in front of the mirror.

How were the drinks?

One of our crowd was detoxing, so we didn't sample nearly as much from the bar menu on our evening visit as we've been known to tackle in the past. Still, a large and affordable selection of wines by the glass was more than enough to satisfy on a weeknight (or a weekend for that matter). Beer on tap was cold and fresh – what else can you say?

What were we eating? How did it taste?

Appetizers sampled were big on flavor and portion-size. The biggest hit of the meal (and there were several) was the Mussels in Hefeweizen broth - a generous bowl of bi-valves in a heady pool of brick-colored holy water. Garlic bread accompanied for dipping, and the combination proved intoxicating. Fried Port Salut cheese consisted of four large wedges of the French cows-milk cheese fried until crisp outside and satiny inside. The cheese was smooth, warm and creamy, not the usual molten lava. Tomato dipping sauce alongside was bland, but unnecessary.

Beef was a standout at The Porch – whether in a sandwich au jus, stuffed into a burrito and topped with hatch chile queso or simply sliced and served with sea-salted fries. Speaking of fries, one of our group aptly described them as “like McDonald's, only fancier”. Thin, but not too thin, and salty as could be, they were a favorite at the table.

The aforementioned French Dip Au Jus sandwich merited nothing but raves. One diner decided that it was better than Houston's, and possibly the best he'd ever had. Smothered in gruyère and subtle horseradish mayo, the meat was juicy and fresh-tasting. The salty beef broth alongside was a perfect compliment, not overpowering. Our only quibble was that the mayo could have been heavier on the horseradish, but it wouldn't stop us from ordering it again.

The sliced pepper steak entrée was another taste of beef nirvana. Sliced thick, revealing a rosy medium-rare interior, the lean cut was full of flavor. A side of creamy peppercorn dipping sauce bumped up the flavor quotient even higher. We suspect the sauce may have been none other than the stroganoff brew from another dish on the menu, but it worked, so we're not complaining.

Our dinner visit also included a generous side of Smoked Ham Macaroni and Cheese. Our self-described mac and cheese expert (none other than FP) was excited to taste The Porch's version of this classic comfort casserole. A crisp panko crust topped a well-cheesed and smoky sauce, but it failed to cling to the elbow pasta until it had been left to sit at room temperature while we enjoyed our other dishes. The ham struck us as superfluous and a little chewy; the Expert suggests bacon as a more suitable smoky substitute. Overall, however, she found the dish worthy of its roots and the table had no trouble polishing off the entire serving.

A lunchtime choice of blackened redfish “Dockside” sandwich was delicious, all dripping fresh with ripe late-summer tomatoes and mayo on a cushion of pain au lait. The fish tasted not at all blackened, but the dish was just as good without the added spice. Cole slaw substituted for fries was the chopped variety, low mayo-to-vinegar ratio, studded generously with celery seed; it pleased even a cole slaw skeptic at the table.

The only outright disappointments menu-wise were in the salad department. A blackened tuna salad featured off-tasting fish and lame, limp lettuce, and a balsamic chicken and roasted veggie salad was not even worth discussing. Our die-hard salad-lover (C&S) was down at the mouth, but FP rightly pointed out that expecting a good salad at a place like The Porch is like expecting a good salad...well, anywhere that features something like 'Smoked Ham Macaroni and Cheese' on the menu.

How was the service?

See paragraph one. Servers were bright, friendly, on-the-ball. Pacing of dishes was leisurely at dinner, despite a full restaurant. What a pleasant surprise!

How much did it cost?

Sandwiches from $10 up; Entrées under $20. Wines by the glass $7-10. We both agreed that the quality for the price at The Porch is excellent.

Better for a date night or a night out with the girls?

Both. Men: bring your dates here before the prices go up. Women: affordable, high-quality wines by the glass + cheap and elegant appetizers = Ladies' Nite.

Would you go there again?

Without a doubt, and we're looking forward to it!