Has Sandra Lee Jumped the Shark?

We DallasEats girls are equal-opportunity when it comes to cooking shows.  Between the two of us, we can find something to like in pretty much any program.  That's not to say we don't pick favorites (FP was *this* close to erecting a shrine in Ina Garten's honor, before I pointed out that so many candles in close proximity to all those Barefoot Contessa books might present a fire hazard...), but when cooking is your favorite spectator sport, the Food Network is your oyster.  Or something like that.

My love of Semi-Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee is a perfect illustration of this philosophy.  Over the years, I've developed a fondness for Sandy (that's what her nieces, nephews and devoted fans call her) and her creative, quirky twists on traditional and trendy dishes.  For those of you who haven't tuned in to this program, the premise is that Sandra Lee uses "shortcuts" in the form of canned, jarred, frozen or otherwise prepared foods to execute recipes in a quick-and-easy fashion.  Her show is aimed at average home cooks, as opposed to amateur Iron Chefs who might experiment with sous vide in their spare time. In addition to fully-coordinated theme menus, her shows also feature cocktail recipes and decorating tips.  In fact, that's probably what attracted me in the first place.  How can you not love a show that offers up a new cocktail recipe almost every week?

Over the years, I've enjoyed tuning in and soaking up Sandra's concoctions.  I've even made a few at home myself - her cake and cookie recipes are especially tempting.  When she's veered into Salisbury Steak territory, I've turned my head and hummed a tune, more than willing to allow her a few moments of 50's-era regression in the name of nostalgia.  And if a "tablescape" or two struck me as a little on the tacky side (or downright over-the-top), who was I to judge what someone else might deem the perfect theme for their next Bunko night with the girls?  Sandy had, after all, cruised with P. Diddy on his yacht, sipping vodka and Red Bulls with one of the coolest guys on the planet.  Really.  That should count for something, right?

Well, the episode entitled Easy Elegance which aired this past weekend made me take a good hard look at this rationale.  The menu it featured was shocking on so many levels, I had to watch it twice to soak it all in.  In addition, her table decor and matching outfit crossed the line from cute and kitchy to borderline brothel.  And so, in the name of good blogging I've crunched a few numbers to help us all make sense of the shark-jumpage...

Semi-Homemade Cooking - Easy Elegance

Featured Recipes:

Cheddar Cheese Baked Potato Soup

Sauteed Zucchini with Garlic and Herbs

Smothered Meatloaf

Cinnamon Roll Bread Pudding

Maple Shake

The Shocking Totals:

Cans of Soup:  

6 (4 condensed, undiluted)

Various Packets:  

4 (including, but not limited to, Shake and Bake, Onion Soup and Vanilla Pudding Mix)

Misc. Other Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef

1 1/4 lbs. ground pork

2+ Cans Evaporated Milk

1 Pound Cinnamon Rolls

4 Cups (light!) Butter Pecan Ice Cream

(Paltry) Fresh Vegetable Count:

1 potato

2 zucchinis

Keep in mind that these recipes are meant to be served together as a complete menu for 4-6 people.  That's one whole can of prepared soup and 6 oz. of meat per person, just for starters.  Yikes!  I mean, she's never claimed to be a healthy chef, but this is ridiculous.  This episode should have come with a disclaimer for diabetics and those suffering from high blood pressure.  The worst part?  It looked kinda good to me after watching her show all these years.  Sad to say I can't say the same for the show's theme decor - it brought to mind an antique store tea room on acid.  I think I'm going to have to re-evaluate my cooking show criteria, and in the meantime, I'll be keeping an eye on Sandy.

C&S

Dear Food Network: We Get It Already!

After a combined 20 years of dedicated Food Network fandom, we DallasEats girls think it's high time we declared a few culinary lessons officially learned...

Months ago, FoodiePrincess and I started compiling a list of those rules and tips and faded old facts that seem to come up time and again (and again and again) when we're watching our favorite cooking shows or reading foodie magazines.   We decided we were ready, with regard to these subjects, to announce "We Get It Already!", thereby encouraging all our beloved hosts and writers to move on past their pre-recorded loops and on to more interesting instruction.

It took us quite a while to whittle the list down to the final top ten - a few items that were only marginally annoying didn't make the cut.  Here's hoping we've satisfied all our fellow Food Network frequent fliers...and if not, tell us about your pet peeves in a comment!

The DallasEats We Get it Already! List

2009 Edition

1. Salmon, blueberries and sweet potatoes are very nutritious.

No kidding?  That's only the 100th time we've heard that.  This week.  Ditto almonds, whole-grain breads and spinach.

2. A well-stocked pantry saves time and money.

We are totally on board with this fact.  However, we're sick and tired of folks telling us what we should be stocking.  Sure, a can of cannellini beans can be used to whip up a quick dip when unexpected company drops in, but what if we prefer hummus?   (And we're still staring at that orzo from ’06.)    We’ll stock our own darned pantry according to our own darned tastes, thank you very much.

3. Adding a pinch of salt to sweet dishes doesn't make them taste "salty".

We know that adding a dash of salt to brownie batter or raspberry coulis will help to bring out all the flavors.   We've been doing it for years, and it doesn't scare us even a little.

4. Add salt to aromatics when sauteing, to help them release their natural juices and soften.

Okay, duh.  Why would you not add salt to begin with?  It's what makes everything taste delicious (see rule number 3).

5. When hosting a party, try to do as much as possible in advance, so that you're not stuck in the kitchen the whole time.

Ina, Giada, Paula, Sandra...we get it.  And we agree.  But is there any regular viewer of your shows who is still making individual omelettes for New Year's Day brunch?  We think not.

6. Always salt the water when cooking pasta.

Indeed, we always have.  So did our Moms.  Maybe Grandma didn’t, but two generations is proof enough that we’ve got a handle on it.  How about going over a specific salt-to-water ratio for a change?  That would be helpful.

7. Only use real parmesan cheese.

This rule is one for the ages, but those of us who love to cook gave up the green can and its chalky, salty contents quite a while back.  We promise - you can even search our fridges.

8. This one’s for Alton:

We’re sorry, guy, but it’s been years now and we don’t know of one single person who has converted to measuring ingredients by weight.  It might be time to throw in the towel.  We even have one of those nifty digital scales, but it rarely sees the light of day.

9. Only cook with wine you would drink.

We do not now, nor have we ever, used “cooking wine”, “cooking sherry”, or anything of the sort.    Neither does anyone we know.   Please put us in touch with these Holland House devotees - we’ll personally deliver a bottle of acceptable cooking (and drinking) wine right to their door, so that we can all move past this tired old lesson.

10. A Final Note on Hand Washing

The last straw for us on this subject came in the form of a recipe we read in the paper recently which began, "Step one: wash hands".  Please.  We are doubly offended when television hosts remind us to use soap.  What is this, Cooking with Toddlers and Hobos?   Let's all agree that we are in favor of hand washing, especially after handling raw proteins, and that we pledge to continue doing so even if no one reminds us ever again.

And now, a shameless plug: For news you can really use when it comes to cooking lessons, check out Appetite for Instruction every Thursday on the Dallas Observer City of Ate blog!

My Mom Scoops Everyone

My mom got some interesting Food Network gossip from Tim Love while dining at Lonesome Dove last week.

Check out her blog for the scoop, as well as for an adorable picture of her and Chef Love...

Food Network to Launch Magazine

So, my beloved Food Network is launching a new magazine. Not surprisingly, they are calling it "Food Network Magazine". Although I haven't seen it yet, from what I understand, the intention is to be aimed toward the casual home cook (like Everyday with Rachel Ray or Martha Stewart's Everyday Food) than toward the hard-core Foodie.

The magazine launched its first test issue on October 14, and it will launch a second test issue in January 2009. It plans to start its regular distribution in June of 2009.

My question is, who will be reading this magazine? I am a HUGE Food Network fan, but I am not sure how I see this translating to print. My favorite Food Network star is The Barefoot Contessa, Ina Garten. I've seen all of her shows, and I own all of her cookbooks. Is there going to be anything in the magazine that I haven't seen before? I find that unlikely. Unless they have a Tyler Florence centerfold in each issue, I don't see any reason that I'll become a regular reader.

I know I sound like a Grinch, but I already subscribe to Food & Wine, Everyday Food, and Cooking Light, so it's not at all that I am opposed to these types of magazines. I just don't think I'll be looking to take on another one.

What do you guys think? Is anyone completely psyched about the new magazine or are you pretty bored with this news as well?

Danny's Damsels in Distress

So, blog friends, I'm curious - anyone seen Rescue Chef with Danny Boome?  

I don't TiVo it or anything, but I've caught the show a few times, and while I was watching with a friend yesterday, it dawned on me that every episode I've seen has featured the adorable Chef Boome helping a very particular type of culinarily-challenged individual.  Specifically, each time I've tuned in, he is instructing a drop-dead gorgeous young woman.  Yesterday's lassie was Heather, a pretty brunette with a mega-watt smile who learned how to finesse a lamb stew under the Chef's attentive tutelage.  Last weekend, Boome brunched with an equally beautiful babe.

Now, I don't see anything wrong with this, per se - it's just a little curious (and may necessitate a change of title if it keeps up - may I suggest my headline above?).  Have you noticed it too?  Or did I just miss the episodes where he's paired with women older than 25 or, say, someone's grandpa or a couple of fraternity brothers?